Thank you and some reflections

Sue,Rob and Katie would like to thank you for your wonderful support, help, words, friendships, beautiful flowers, generous gifts and all the love and hugs over the past year and especially recently with the heartbreaking loss of our precious darling Sara Jane.


"If I had a single flower for every time I think about you, I could walk forever in my garden"

Claudia Ghandi


Reflecting how it feels

Please, don’t ask me if I’m over it yet.
I’ll never be over it.
Please, don’t tell me she’s in a better place.
She isn’t here with me.
Please, don’t say at least she isn’t suffering.
I haven’t come to terms with
why she had to suffer at all.
Please, don’t tell me you know how I feel,
unless you have lost a child.
Please, don’t ask me if I feel better.
Bereavement isn’t a condition that clears up.
Please, don’t tell me at least you had her for so many years.
What year would you choose for your child to die?
Please, don’t tell me God never gives us
more than we can bear.

Please, just say you are sorry.
Please, just say you remember my child, if you do.
Please, just let me talk about my child.
Please, mention my child’s name
Please, just let me cry.

Our dearest Sara Jane

Our princess Sara Jane, 18 years young, flew off from the Mackenzie Basin to be a beautiful angel on 16th February 2007 after an inspiring journey over the past year. Adored, cherished and loved, and in our hearts forever.

“He kotuku rerenga tahi” – a white heron of a single flight.

Fly in peace with all the aroha and light surrounding you that you brought to our lives, Mum (Sue), Dad (Rob) and Katie.

A service to celebrate Sara’s life and share our grief will be held at Twin Lakes, Glen Lyon Rd, on Tuesday 20th February at 1.00pm (please bring your own camp chair if you have one). If the weather is inclement, it will be held at the Twizel Events Centre. The theme is to wear something pink.

In lieu of flowers donations to The Child Cancer Foundation would be most appreciated, and can be made at or after the service.

From the Crawford Clan

dearly loved and treasured granddaughter, niece, cousin and friend of Vilma and the late Bob Crawford; Robyn, Tracey and Lisa Garnett; Peter MacDonald and Peter Garnett.

Sara was an inspiration to us all – she grabbed life with both hands and made the most of every day. So much to live for, so open and giving, so very special to each of us.

From the Young Family

beloved granddaughter, niece and cousin of Joan and the late Bruce Young, Ruth, Lothar, Katherine and Stefan; Hugo, Jane, Jim and Harry; Helen, Martin, Tama, Ru, and Tui plus many more relatives and friends.

An angel on earth and an angel forever in our hearts. Always the young spirit.

Once again some extremely sad and devasting news

Dear everyone

We haven't posted a blog for a while and things had been going well until a month or so ago.

Sara became seriously ill 3 weeks ago and was taken to Chch from Twizel by ambulance on Saturday night. A scan on the Sunday showed that the tumour had regrown much larger than it had been previously and very different to a scan 5 weeks earlier that showed the tumour still shrinking and collapsing.

We are all devasted by this news after all the hope of the past few months and are trying to keep our lives together - there is no other treatment possible under the circumstances. We have been home for 10 days now after Sara spent some time in hospital and Chch while her condition was stabilised. Sara is now spending large amounts of the day resting and sleeping and being cared for by us and the local GP, district nurse, the palliative care team in Timaru with advice from the team at CHOC.

We are spending Xmas at home with family and are just taking each day as it comes. Sara is fairly comfortable most of the time now that the drug regime has been sorted and enjoys her awake time with us and the occassional visitor.

We haven't had the energy or inclination to do our usual Xmas letter but have really enjoyed all the ones we have been getting and the many other messages of support. A big thank you to everyone who has been supportive during the last few weeks especially since we have been home with meals and other gifts.

Sara is really looking forward to Xmas Day and she can't wait to open her pile of pressies under the tree! We are treasuring every minute we have with our precious and beautiful Sara Jane who still shines with her beautiful smile, a heart of pink and wonderful sense of humour.

If you would like to visit please ring or text first and keep your visit short for Sara's sake and to allow us the time we need with her as a family in the precious hours when she is up to having some fun and time together.

Arohanui to you all and we wish you all a happy Xmas.

Rob, Sue Sara and Kate (whose been visiting lots from her flat in town)

Heres da piccys!!

Caitlin and Sara having a laugh in Wanaka on the ski week!

Farewell to Tracey and Lisa!

Peanut checking we've got everything!

My cat likes to hide in baskets!

Sara, WOW THE ONE AND ONLY CHEESE BABY aka Sarah VanB! There she is guys! Accompanied by her bubbly sisters Caitlin and Holly, sorry you got chopped off Hols!

Now in Melbourne out for tea with Robs cousin Susan, sorry about the lighting!

Navigating Melbourne!

Mum going nuts in a nut shop!

This is for you Granty, I tried to get a lil model one but could'nt!

Spring time, Birthdays and a Trip to Melbourne!

Kia ora tātou!

Well I’ll start off from where I left it... Tracey and Lisa back home from England for a short winter visit…. so it was time to do some skiing! This time the ski trip was mainly based at Cardrona, a change of scene for us Young ones rather than the usual Treble Cone. Tracey and I, the great puzzle lovers, sought out a puzzle in Wanaka at Puzzling World, something to keep us entertained, especially Tracey near the end... It was a bit too hard for me! While the four of us were down in Wanaka Peanut (our cat) held the fort at home... well at least we thought that's what he was doing, but when we are gone, Peanut lives in the laps of luxury at our neighbour, Steph’s house getting much better food than cat food and a lot of love we suspect! Peanut has two homes you could say! Thank you Steph! We then had a trip up to Christchurch to say goodbye to Tracey and Lisa and see the doctor. While Kate had a few ski days at Ohau and Treble Cone.

While in Christchurch I finally managed to catch up with the one and the only, that famous girl CHEESE and her sisters! I'd like to point out that Cheese, AKA Sarah, has been a rock for me this year! The postcards, her phone calls and her txts are wonderful! Right now she is in Rome so I know she’ll be having a great time and some magnificent experiences. You’re a champ Cheese!

After seeing the Dr in Christchurch it was decided that we would go to Melbourne for another PET scan. From that scan I got another set of amazingly, exciting, jump up and down kind of news, I heard that my tumour had not taken up any of the tracer in my PET scan which means that it is metabolically inactive! Yahoo! We are now thinking about the next step. Very hard decisions!

We went to Wanaka for another ski week and some relaxation. I managed to go for a bike ride with Dad which was exciting for me to get back on my bike and go for a ride. We all had about four days skiing at Treble Cone the snow wasn't heaven every day but we did manage to get some days that were a lot of fun! It was great being able to spend time with some of the Feaseys on the mountain and off the mountain. We met a good friend, Chris in Queenstown on Kate's birthday and had lunch with him. The highlight for Kate of this trip was buying some new very PHAT skis!

We had another trip to Christchurch for Dads work and for me to go to the doctor for a rash on my legs. Finally I've managed to get rid of the rash that was driving me insane so I have had a spa!

On my ***18th*** birthday I went down to watch some rowing at Lake Ruataniwha, I was on a buzz down there catching up with all my rowing mates and watching them row. This was inspiring me to get back on the water sometime in the future. In the evening I went, with Kate, to the basketball party that was held at the Pukaki Lounge/pub. There was a great band playing, some of which I knew from working in Twizel last summer. When they found out it was my birthday the band and whole Lounge sang happy birthday to me, embarrassing but very special! Thanks Sam and Michael and all those that sang along!  It was a great party with some very OARSUM music! Rock on!

In between trips away I have managed to get into school a couple of times a week doing some art. Mum and I might be back up to Christchurch so I can see a friend of mine compete in a Trampolining competition which would be exciting to see!
I'll load some photos in the next few days. So there's the update on the Youngs adventures I’d love to hear some of your adventures so leave me a Blog.

Aroha nui

Sara and family

A LONG lunch to celebrate!

Kia ora tātou!

Over the last few weeks I have been getting better and better and my drug cocktail has been reduced significantly. On Tuesday this week we were in Christchurch, I had a CAT scan and an MRI scan. Then on Wednesday as we travelled home we had some really amazingly OARSUM news, when the doctors told us that my tumour had decreased in size. It is now 4/10 of what it was at the last MRI scan on the 18th of April-one month after my radio treatment finished! He pai rawa atu tēnā – That’s fantastic! As we travelled from the Geraldine hills to Twizel we rang relatives and friends with my exciting news!

When we got home to a beautiful Mackenzie day we beelined to Shawty’s Cafe for lunch, shouted by me as a celebration! Our family lunch evolved into a gathering of many friends as school and work finished. Thanks to Troy for keeping the door open late and the yummy nibbles. We left our long lunch for a late dinner at Glenda and John's with lots of friends, music, singing and dancing till midnight. It was a very special day and celebration for me!!!

“I just can't stop grinning!” - Cheshire Cat -- Wonder and Aliceland – You’re my idol Caitlin (The Cheshire Cat!) This is the quote from a previous production I was in, and it is just how I’ve felt for the last couple of days!

Now we have to think about what comes next. I have been on a cocktail of antioxidants and immune building agents for the last 5 months. We will be continuing this and working on adding to it.
Meanwhile the oncology team are working on a proposal to undertake some heavy duty chemo. We will be discussing this with them sometime over the next fortnight.

The excitement doesn't end here for me as my cousins Tracey and Lisa have come back from England for a visit. So this week we are going down to Wanaka for some skiing. It should be great fun, I can't wait to see them!

I've had a great time writing this Blog because I've used the program Dragon Speaking Naturally that the school bought for me to help me as I cannot type very well with my hand. You'll see the picture of me at my lap top with my "McDonald's microphone" on below.
Haere rā

Sara

"McDonalds Girl"

Kate and Sara at the party

Dancing time

Good things take time!

Hi everyone

Its been a while since the last blog and our apologies for that - we will try and keep it up to date a bit more regularly, even if it is just briefly, as we have heard from so many people how they are still watching it!

We have been home for a month now and its warming up a little outside and we are all settling back into life in Twizel. Our little house was a bit frozen up on the morning of our departure from Christchurch- the last Friday in June. But the split wetback and water inside the house was all sorted when we arrived home later that day thanks to a great bunch of friends and locals.

We returned from a weeks skiing in Wanaka over a week ago! We all had a great time. The weather treated us well and Rob and Kate had 5 full days skiing at Treble Cone. But best of all Sara skied for three afternoons and on the last Saturday was seen seeking out the small jumps and some off piste snow! While were were there the snow conditions were fantastic and got even better on the Wednesday when 38cm of powder snow fell! So Thursday was one of those world famous TC powder days. In between skiing we did a bit of the coffee thing and just chilling out - well actually it was quite warm during the day!

We spent some time catching up with friends which was great and Sara got to spend quite a bit of time with her great friend Caitlin who is in Wanaka training for ski racing this winter.

Sara and Sue spent last week around home being creative and keeping the home fires burning amongst some walking. Rob went back to work for a full week interrupted by a visit to the dentist. Kate headed to Dunedin for the week to see her friend Anna and then came back to work at the Korner Kafe for the weekend. Robyn (Sues sister) and Mac visited in the weekend and skied at Ohau with Kate on Saturday.

This week Sara has gone to school for a couple of afternoons and spent some time in the Art room and meeting up with her buddies and teachers. She is feeling good, is still her bubbly self and while she gets tired has been quite busy and really enjoying being home.

We are off to Christchurch this weekend for a few days to catch up with family and some friends and do some town things!

Ka kite ano.
Sara, Kate Sue and Rob

Sara off to school yesterday

Wanaka Skiing!! Yahoo!!

Sara and Kate

Sara skiing Triple Treat

The Young Ones at TC

Back in the Mackenzie

Home sweet home in the snow!!

Lake Ohau and the Mackenzie from Ohau Snowfields

We've been everywhere..........

We've been to Hamner, Kaikoura, Rarangi, Picton, Mistletoe Bay, Nelson, Marahau, Takaka, Totaranui, Collingwood, Puponga, Wharariki Beach, Farewell Spit, Pataurau, Pakawau, Parapara, Pohara, Queen Charlotte Sound, Wellington, Dannevirke, Norsewood, Otane, Hastings, Napier, Waipatiki Beach, Mahia Peninsula, Mohaka, Wairoa, Gisborneeeeee, Tatapouri by the Sea, Whangara (of Whalerider fame), Tolaga Bay, Tokomaru Bay, Ruatoria, Tikitiki, Te Araroa, East Cape, Hicks Bay, Waihau Bay,Te Kaha, Opotoki, Whakatane, The Mount, Tauranga, Rotten Vegas, Te Puia, Karapiro, Hamilton, Auckland, Whangerei, Russell, Pahia, Kerikeri, Mangonui, Opua, Oakura, Teal Bay, Helena Bay, Orewa, Remuera and Eden Park............and we shook the hand of the man who shook Johnny Cash's hand! And yes country music has gained an upperhand on this trip including Johnny Cash. We've been everywhere........!!

And we got to see lots of friends and rellies (unfortunately not everyone along the way), but for those who we didn't call on you were all thought of along the way! And now it is time to fly home after an amazing 8 week road trip...... its time to head home to Twizel with a few days in Christchurch en route.

There have been lots of highlights but some of the best were:
The Orca pod on the East Coast
The road trip around the East Cape in a great week of warm weather
Wellington with Jane, Mart and Zoe
The All Blacks Irish game at Eden Park in the rain
The Indian restaurant in Roturua (Tandoori Star)
Our time with Iain, Pauline and Anna in Auckland
Visiting Russell and seeing old friends from that part of the world and realising part of your heart is still there
Fish and Chips at the World Famous Mangonui Harbour F&C shop on the wharf
Sailing in the QC Sound with Robyn and Mac
Camping at Totaranui for nearly 2 weeks and all the visits from friends and sister Helen
Camping on the beach at Patarau

Lots and lots of wonderful times and memories amongst great places, and with friends and family. Thank you everyone for making the trip so special. We will always treasure it.

Haere mai and arohanui

from the Young Ones Sara, Kate, Sue and Rob

Still being gypsies and heading north!

Hi everyone

We are just leaving Nelson after being here since Thursday with Mart, Jane and Zoe. We have had a lovely relaxing time here in Nelson despite the dampish weather. We all enjoyed the Crusaders game on Saturday night down at the local pub - Sara enticed Jane to watch her first rugby game in a pub! This one eyed brigade predicted a Crusader win of course and we have little sympathy for those who supported the losing side! We are looking forward to the continuation of the crusade next year!

As Aunty Haybale has reported we had a fantastic time in Golden Bay both at Totaranui and in and around the bay after we left there. Wednesday we took the trip up Farewell Spit on a beautiful fine day with no wind and views for miles. Thanks to Helen and Pam and Hugh at Totaranui for helping us have such a wonderful time in GB.

Today is a beautiful day here in Nelson and we are about to depart to Picton where we meet Robyn and Mac tonite, they are bringing some gear from Chch and we will be sending some home with them. Tomorrow hopefully we will go for a sail in their yacht Morning Cloud in the Sounds. Thursday we are taking the ferry to Wellington and road tripping onwards to Auckland and Russell (where we lived for three years and Sara was born).

The decision to go north has been driven by the Sara's need to continue her gypsy ways....... well we all have the bug now or have always had it........and we think we might get some warmer temps up there. And most importantly we are looking forward to catching up with some of our friends and rellies in the NI as well as checking out some of the favourite spots in Northland.

We plan to go by the East Coast - a place we have always wanted to do a road trip to and have never made it so we are hoping for some good weather! We plan to fly home to Christchuch from Auckland mid - late June, leaving the camper in Auckland.

Sara is doing well and enjoying the time immensely and been having lots of fun with friends and cuzzies along the way. We continue to enjoy the blog and comments ( Sara had a session reading it today) and the emails, cards and messages have given us great support.

Aroha to you all

Sara, Kate Sue and Rob

Our very sad news

Dear friends,

While we were in Twizel for Easter Sara's condition deteriorated, so we returned home late on Monday. On Tuesday we saw the doctor in CHOC and Sara had an MRI scan in the evening. The scan has shown that the tumour has continued to grow despite the treatment and was the cause of her worsening illness.

On Wednesday afternoon we were given the devasting and tragic news that there was nothing more that could be done to cure the illness. Our time with Sara is now very precious. The steriod medication has been changed and there has been a marked improvement in her symptoms in the last 3 days allowing her some quality time during these precious months.

We are planning a family motorhome holiday around some of our favourite places in the South Island for the next few weeks, and all going well we will depart mid- week.

Thank you for all the support, text messages, phone calls, cards, visits, prayers and presents over the last few months they have been a wonderful inspiration for us, especially Sara.

We will continue to post the occassional blog on the site while we are away when it feels right and the chance is there.

Love to you all

Rob, Sue, Kate and Sara

Home to the Mackenzie for Easter

Hi everyone

We travelled home to Twizel for the Easter break on Thursday. A beautiful day and great drive back home. The first time we have been home for a stay for over 3 months. Sara has been very tired for the last few days (both here and in Christchurch) and has been resting and sleeping lots. She has seen a few friends while we have been here but we are all just taking it easy and enjoying being home for a few days. We did have a meal out at Shawty's on Thursday evening which made us feel like we were really home.

A week ago we had a discussion with the oncologist Dr Rob Corbett about the analysis of the last MRI scan. He told us that there are indications that the tumour may have enlarged despite the radiation and chemo treatment of the last few weeks. This was devasting news for Sara and us and we have had a very emotional week. As a result we will be travelling to Sydney for the another PET scan - hopefully this coming week. Until we get the results of that we will not know where to next with Sara's treatment.

Kate arrived back on Sunday safe and well and has been telling us stories of her travels all week. We have been giving her a hard time about her acquired accent and she has also been entertaining us with her new liking for country music. She is working this weekend at the Korner Kafe in Twizel and plans to go looking for a job at the local cafes in Sumner when we return there.

Sara has solved her bath problem for the meantime by using a soft mat given to her by Aunty Robyn or a Z-rest sleeping mat discovered in the garage at 211 Mackenzie Drive! Sara enjoyed all the wonderful suggestions and discussion on soft baths - maybe an opportunity for someone to completely redesign the bath!

Thanks to everyone for the continuing support, messages and visits, when we are able to see people. Also a big thank you to all those who organised and contributed to the Support Fund in Twizel. We have recently received a cheque from this fund for $1400 which has paid for Sara's laptop. We feel very grateful and really appreciate this generous gift from our home town and all our friends there. We feel very humbled by your kindness - thank you so much.

Warm regards

Rob, Sue Sara and Kate (back in NZ)

Bath time

Sara is just off to her bath and complaining about how hard it is. Why do they make baths so hard? They should be like a big squishy pillow she reckons "I ALWAYS thought that". I have been instucted to measure the bath so she can go to Para Rubber tomorrow to get something big and soft to put in the bottom of the bath to lie on! Sara is thinking of a thick bit of sponge.

Does anyone out there have any good ideas for making baths soft! "This is a serious matter" she says "I have this problem EVERY night!"

THE BIG SOFTEE

A few hard days for Sara.

Hi everyone

So what's up so far this week?

Sara has been very tired and resting lots but having a bit of a tough time emotionally, the last few days. While she enjoyed the great success of Zoe and Caitlin at Maadi it has understandably made her reflect again on how different life is at the moment for her. This has been very emotional for her (and us) as she rides the rollercoaster of this huge change in her life and all the uncertainty it brings.

At times reading the blog this last week has made life very hard for her so we have been doing a bit of judicious management of what she sees and have now put in place the blog moderation system while we get through the next few days. This means that blogs don't get published until they have been seen by the blog administrator (ie me!). Hence a number of the bloggers over the last day or so haven't been able to see the blog appear on the site straight away. I promise they will appear on the site but not immediately - provided we think they will be a positive for Sara.

The blog has been a really positive thing for her and us and we know everyone enjoys using and benefiting from it. We wish to keep it like that, so thanks to everyone for all the positive stuff that we and everyone else has been enjoying.

Thanks and hope you are enjoying the new photos - and keep blogging!

Warm regards, Rob and Sue

Sorting out the car to go with the sport!

Sara with the the Canterbury Rams.

Sara's Radiotherapy Team, Kylie, Miranda and Anthea on the last day 2 weeks ago

Whats been up and down at 78 Glenstrae this week.

Hi everyone

Well the news of the week has to be the gold medal win by Caitlin and Zoe at the Maadi Cup reggata. Fantastic for them and everyone involved and undoubtedly the highlight of Sara's week. She got to watch it live by computer feed at the Salamander Art Gallery, courtesy of Anne and Bob - the visitors to the gallery were treated to a slightly milder version of the Maadi 2005 rock band but just as enthusiatic and even more wrapped that her buddies won this year! Hey you girls and all the coaching and support team what a result - fantastic, a testament to all the dedication and hours on and off the water - congratulations from all the Young Ones!

Last weekend was an exciting one for Sara and the Rams versus Nuggets game was great. Sara got to meet up with the players after the game including the American imports and get a few photos and signatures. The neatest thing about the game was meeting our long time friends Owen and Debbie Rees outside the Westpac Stadium and finding out that their son Ash was a Ram!

Unfortunately just as we almost reached home after the game, Sara had another seizure and we literally U turned in Ferry Road and went direct to CHOC. This one lasted quite sometime and was very scary for all of us. Sara spent 2 nights in hospital (with Sue staying over) and came home late Tuesday after another blood transfusion. Her medication has been altered and hopefully she doesn't have another episode like this for a while. She has been very tired as a result all week, and it has been very quiet for all of us since other than the rowing and a visit from our friends from Pleasant Point, Bill and Maureen Wright on Thursday (Bill was the Ranger at Kerikeri when I worked in Russell).Debbie Carter visited Sara for a couple of magic healing touch sessions at the hospital and at home later in the week - thank you Debbie.

Today was a beautiful day in Chch and we just enjoyed the day in the sun and Sara walked down to Redcliffs for some fresh air- her first real exercise for some time - she really enjoyed it. The day got even better courtesy of the Crusaders (yes I had to cruise to the local tavern to check out the second half) - they still rule eh Bob, Clare and Mark! It's not too late to finally admit that if you live in Canterbury you might as well join the winning team. After all this was the 14th win in a row!

Sara currently has a very low immunity level so please don't ask to come visiting if you think your getting, have had or had recently (ie in the last week or so) any bugs or colds or been in contact with anyone with anything infectious like this. Thank you and have a good week.


TTFN
Sara Sue Rob and Kate (on a road trip to the Carlsbad Caverns National Park in southern New Mexico)